Pity Party Pizza – Vegan


Walnut and Brussels Sprout “Zaa”


46 days into prep without a re-feed meal and I was starting to feel like my next check-in email would be responded to with a “guess what? You get a re-feed”….instead, I was told that I looked like I’m retaining water which upped my cardio to an insane level AND changed my overall diet plan again.

This did not sit well with me, Jeff suggested we go for pizza. I had enough will to NOT cave and head for legit dangerous territory but I did need to pretend I ate pizza in order to survive.

I birthed a couple of recipes I hope you can find some enjoyment in.

Water retention. Pfft.


Without having anything tomatoey, I needed to build a base. I was originally going for a Thai flavour but it ended up being something…else.


I utilized my usual vegan prep food for these recipes…but not the asparagus as I am mad at asparagus right now and don’t want to taste it on anything remotely delicious. Stupid, plain, boring and never ending asparagus.

Ezekiel wraps

1 tbsp sun butter

1/4 cup rehydrated sundried tomatoes (let sit in really warm water for 10-15 mins)

2 cloves garlic

1/4 cup water

4 tbsp nutritional yeast

1/8 cup water

1 tbsp chia seeds

*Mix all ingredients in small dish with fork and allow to sit for 10 minutes to thicken* voila “cheeze” 

Pizza toppings: 

Roasted brussels sprouts

Roasted broccoli

Chopped tomato

Cubed Tofu


Yellow onions

Maple Syrup


Pre-heat oven to 425.

Slather on base, then add ingredients as desired. Bake for 10-12 minutes checking back to ensure you aren’t burning the “crust”. On my second effort I sprayed the bottom of the “pizza” with coconut oil. 

Pizza #1 was: 

Base, slivered yellow onion, brussels, tomato, walnuts & drizzle of maple syrup.

Pizza #2 was: 

Base, broccoli, tomato, tofu (measured per my diet plan), “cheeze”.

Pizza – in a state of emergency



If you ever feel like you have NO idea what to cook for dinner – always remember, if you have a freezer and a couple ingredients, you have a pizza. Last night I had NO idea what to make for dinner. I had rushed home to feed and walk the dogs, was charged by a moose, did my 30 minute HIIT workout just in time for my man to arrive home from a day on the ski hill. I had 20 minutes to get something going and my kitchen was especially empty.

Cue my pizza-itis.

Pizza is, in my humble opinion, one of the easiest, most robust culinary creations out there. You have an entire meal in one spot. How perfect is that? While our ideas of the perfect pizza may be very different, rest assured that a few great ingredients prepared well, can really tie together what would otherwise seem like a hodgepodge mess.


Gluten free rice tortillas – keep these frozen for emergency use later

Peanut satay sauce

1 sweet potato shredded

2 carrots shredded

1 bell pepper sliced

1 cup frozen pineapple diced

2 cups torn kale

2 tbsp fresh chopped chive or green onion

1/4 cup nutritional yeast – to add some cheesiness

Garlic salt

Peppercorns – fresh, crushed for taste



Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Place tortillas on a baking sheet, spread peanut satay sauce on as you would with any regular pizza sauce – I suggest more saucy, but that’s my preference.



In a hot skillet lightly oiled, cook up your yam and pineapple fir about 5 minutes on medium heat to remove the starch from the yam.



Top your pizza with all ingredients with the exception of the green onion. Place in oven and cook for at least 20 minutes or until you can see the edges of your tortillas getting browned. At around 20-25 minutes add your green onion & nutritional yeast and allow to cook for a couple more minutes.



Voila! You can use this recipe for appies, or for your main course.

In a perfect world, while that’s in the oven you could splash some water on your face, turn on some sweet tunes and pour a glass of scotch to enjoy!

Raw vegan mushroom pizza

Pizza is something that I’ve always had a hard time letting go of. I think of myself as an aficionado really. The crust, toppings and crunch have to be JUST right or it’s not winning any major awards from me. 
While Raw & Vegan food is really good for your body, it’s admittedly, not always the tastiest when it comes to trying to outdo or copycat conventional foods. 
I am not laying out this recipe to you in order to show up an epic slice of pie…only to let you pizzaphiles out there know that you can possibly add MORE pizza to your life, without more YOU.
Tools you could use are: 
Dehydrator – or oven set to lowest temp
Food processor or hand blender
**Warning** This recipe cannot be completed in 1 day as the crust will need to dry overnight. 

3/4 cup hemp seeds & sunflower seeds
1 cup walnuts
1 tsp himalayan salt
2 cups fresh packed basil
2 tbsp fresh oregano
1 tablespoon agave
1.5 white onion sliced
6 cloves garlic
*1/8 cup water reserve if you did not soak your nuts, or they are dry

Be creative here. For this one, I opted to put a base layer of  Spinach Pesto and top with my recipe for Cashew Cheese. Fresh ingredients include: kale, tomato, mushrooms, rehydrated sundried tomatoes, onion, garlic. Options are endless, be creative. 
Try marinating your veggies in liquid aminos/nama shoyu/soy sauce first!
Pulse crust ingredients in food processor or with hand blender until thoroughly mixed and “dough” sticks together. 
Split into 2 or 4 depending on how large you want your pizza – I do mine as individuals and make 4. 
Flatten onto dehydrating sheet with teflex OR a cookie sheet with parchment paper. 
Dehydrate for 24 hours or until crust is hard. Flip over and remove from reflex around hour 8 to ensure full drying. 
Dry on lowest oven setting or 200 max until dry. You will want to flip this half was as well however, oven drying may take a little less time depending. Keep an eye on it!
Spoon on each 1 layer of “cheese” and pesto. Top with your fave pizza ingredients. 
Go ahead and eat like this OR throw back in the over or dehydrator for about 1-2 hours to warm. 
**Tip** You can use the crust recipe to make CRACKERS! Just spread wafer-thin and dehydrate for half of the time….
Adapted from Emily von Euw